


Am I Capable?

by Feralmaeda



Series: Ultimate Android Hajime [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Also Souda and Komaeda are buddies, Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Hinata Hajime Has a Talent, Holding Hands, Kissing, Komaeda’s on the verge of tears the whole time honestly, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Neo World Program (Dangan Ronpa), Ultimate Android Hinata Hajime, [Komaeda voice] H hold a hand?? Hinata’s hand? H o ld......
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-14 07:30:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19268611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feralmaeda/pseuds/Feralmaeda
Summary: Nagito has something to tell Hajime, because it’s gotten to the point where he has trouble focusing on anything else. Things go both better and worse than expected.Edit: I got bored and impulsive and made a discord server. You can join in and talk to/yell at me about stuff, I’m absolutely down for it!https://discord.gg/BS8WpMY





	Am I Capable?

It was another day on Jabberwock, and another morning spent staring across the room at Hajime during breakfast. He wasn’t eating anything, though he was very much capable, instead slowly working through a glass of orange juice while he talked with Fuyuhiko, smiling and laughing at something he said.

Hajime’s smile was sweet, and his laughter endearing, and Nagito was well aware that he probably looked like a lovestruck fool, smiling absently with his admittedly sparse plate still untouched.

Kazuichi, who had sat next to him for some reason or other (probably to discuss with him ideas for upgrades that Hajime might like. Nagito seems to have become the resident Hajime expert), gave him a look while he slipped a piece of melon between his lips.

Nagito paid him no mind beyond picking up the toast he had snagged, figuring that Kazuichi was wondering why he wasn’t eating. It seemed that his classmates had started taking after Hajime’s lead and had recently begun encouraging him to eat more.

He realised that that was not, in fact, what Kazuichi was looking at him about, when the shark-toothed man nodded towards Hajime and then said to him, “So you wanna fuck the robot, huh?”

Nagito immediately choked on his toast.

Kazuichi slapped him on the back a couple times as he coughed, and it took Nagito a little while, but he managed to swallow, blinking water from his eyes and looking up to the other from where he was hunched over the table. Luckily, Hajime hadn’t come over to check on him during that (though he surely noticed), so Nagito was free to say what he wanted to.

“I… Can’t deny that without lying, but that isn’t what I was thinking about,” Nagito finally said, cheeks lightly flushed as he avoided Kazuichi’s eyes.

“Gross,” Kazuichi said, playfully sticking his tongue out at his somewhat-friend and putting another piece of fruit in his mouth, “Really though, you like him a lot, huh? You gonna tell him?”

Nagito bit his lip as he carefully picked up his glass of water, using his left hand for support more than anything, “..Eventually, maybe. I don’t think he loves me back though.”

The pink-haired man next to him nearly choked this time, whipping around to face him, “ _Dude,_ you _love_ him? Not just like, a crush? Man… Komaeda, you’ve gotta tell him.”

With a noncommittal hum, Nagito sipped at his water, not sparing Kazuichi a glance and instead watching Hajime again. The brunet was on his own now, still nursing his orange juice. Nagito found it cute how much he liked it.

“ _Komaeda,”_ Kazuichi stressed again, and Nagito looked to him with eyes made wide and innocent.

Kazuichi huffed, “Just promise me you’re gonna tell him sometime, alright? I’m pretty sure he at least likes you too. When I was helping him get the sand outta his solar panels the other day he kept going on and on about how much fun he had at the beach with you. Said the sunlight made your hair look pretty.”

Nagito flushed lightly, turning grey-green eyes back to Hajime and mumbling against the rim of his glass, “Fine, I’ll tell him sometime soon. It’s been difficult not to accidentally blurt it out anyways. I’ve always had rather poor impulse control.”

“Yeah, we’ve all noticed,” Kazuichi snorted, patting Nagito on the back again, this time a purely amicable gesture. Nagito grumbled something against his glass again that he refused to repeat when asked.

—

“Hinata?”

Hajime looked up from the book he was reading to find Nagito standing near his chair, not meeting his eyes and instead watching the light as it danced on the surface of the pool.

“Yeah, Komaeda?” He offered, unsure of what the other was after. Whenever Nagito invited him for some sort of outing (dates, his social database hesitantly supplied him with), it was more blunt. Usually something along the lines of “Would you like to go to the library with me?” or “Do you want to go for a walk?” Not something so uncertain as whatever this was.

“Could we.. Go to our spot sometime today?” Nagito asked hesitantly, “There’s something I should really tell you.”

Hajime’s first thought was that that sounded unnecessarily ominous, but he agreed nonetheless.

“Sure,” he replied, picking up his bookmark (he and Nagito had made a set, one each for the other, one evening while in the library. It was a thoughtful gesture, and one that Hajime often appreciated) and sliding it into place before tucking his novel to his side, “We could go right now, if you’re ready. I was getting kind of bored anyways.”

Nagito bit at his lower lip for a moment, as if readying to refuse, but he finally nodded, “Ah, yes, that works.”

The pale man didn’t even wait for Hajime to stand, already setting off towards the path that lead to “their” beach.

It wasn’t much different from the one where Hajime awoke within the Neo World Program, the most glaring, and appreciated, difference being the absence of the camera.

They had apparently claimed that stretch of beach for the two of them, ever since they reconciled there after Nagito was retrieved from the far reaches of his own mind. A sturdy little picnic table that Hajime built stood in that spot now, just in the shade of a particularly wide palm.

The two had their claimed spots there as well, Nagito always to the stage right of the trunk and Hajime always to the left, across from each other. Nagito’s fingers were often drumming on the wood, Hajime’s occasionally reaching over to offer a distraction.

The android caught up to Nagito fairly quickly, as he was the much stronger of the two. Nagito’s long legs didn’t give him much of an advantage, even with a head start.

Hajime easily joined Nagito at his right, casting a curious eye up and sideways at his companion. He wasn’t looking back, pale verdigris eyes turned determinedly to anything but Hajime’s. The brunet knew he was thinking hard, brows gently furrowed and jaw moving almost imperceptibly as he rolled his lower lip lightly between his teeth.

They didn’t speak on their trek to the beach, Nagito’s fingers tugging at the sleeves of his ever-present jacket and Hajime’s rubbing at the side of his book's pages in silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable though, Hajime believed.

When they reached the beach, Nagito’s steps stuttered and slowed suddenly, and Hajime almost startled by the sudden jerk. It seemed as if Nagito had been struck, with the way he recoiled. Hajime had been mildly worried in the back of his mind since Nagito’s awkward invitation, but that was slowly coming to the forefront instead.

The white-haired man eventually took his seat, sliding onto the expertly crafted bench and finally meeting Hajime’s eyes. He waved his hand in silent imploring, and Hajime took his place across from him, setting his book aside on the tabletop.

It was warm, even in the shade, and Hajime took a moment to absorb the pleasant scenery before looking back to Nagito, who was quietly tapping long fingernails on the wood.

“Hinata,” he began, taking a calming breath, glancing to the distant horizon before looking back to the curious hazel eyes that watched him, “I know you’ll find this strange, after… after everything I’ve done, but I’ve decided it would be easier to put it out in the open.”

Hajime’s brows gently furrowed, and his lips just barely pressed tighter before he opened his mouth, perhaps to ask a question, but Nagito couldn’t let him speak until he was done.

“I love you,” Nagito told him as steadily as he could, though the fearful waver, ever-present in matters of his selfishness, entered his voice nonetheless. He continued talking as if to distract Hajime from it, but it did him no favors, “I know I probably shouldn’t, you’re disgusted with me, aren’t you? That someone like me would dare to feel this way towards you? But I can’t help it. Hinata, everything about you… pulls me closer. You’re amazing, and I want to always be near you. Ahah, I’ve even been so bold as to imagine holding your hand, or kissing you, or embracing you… You don’t have to return these feelings of mine, you can ignore them if you want, but I just…”

Nagito took in a shuddering breath, and absently noticed that it didn’t sound as wheezing as he used to, “Well, now you know. Hinata Hajime, I believe I’ve fallen in love with you.”

Hajime blinked owlishly at him for a moment, before his lips pressed together again and he couldn’t meet Nagito’s eyes. The white-haired man’s smile twisted to something more like a grimace, forced and pained, and he sighed, but before he could stand, Hajime spoke.

“Am I… something capable of love, Komaeda?” Hajime asked him, looking up to Nagito with eyes that seemed to plead, “Do you really think I am?”

“Hinata, don’t.. Please don’t call yourself a thing,” Nagito murmured, hesitantly reaching out to take Hajime’s hands in his. They felt warm, firm, and there was nothing synthetic at all about how Nagito’s heart fluttered in his chest while holding them.

“I know it’s hypocritical of me to stop you,” Nagito continued, clarifying that he was aware of his own self-deprecating tendency, “But if you aren’t able to feel, then none of us are. I know you’re capable of love, even if you don’t feel it towards me in this moment.”

Hajime looked down at their entwined hands, fingers tightening ever so slightly, and if Nagito focused he could feel the metal beneath his skin, not dissimilar from bone. Nagito smiled at the gesture, the tension in his body easing just lightly, and Hajime’s lips quirked into a small, helpless smile as well.

The brunet stared at their hands for a moment longer, before looking Nagito in the eyes, and then looking away. After a few more silent seconds, Hajime began to rattle off a list in a monotone voice that was far from his own, “‘Be kind, resourceful, beautiful, friendly, have initiative, have a sense of humor, tell right from wrong, make mistakes, fall in love, enjoy strawberries and cream, make someone fall in love with it, learn from experience, use words properly, be the subject of its own thought, have as much diversity of behaviour as a man, do something really new.’”

Nagito’s brow furrowed further with each emotionless word, confused and fairly concerned, and he was about to ask what Hajime was talking about whenever the question was preemptively answered.

“Alan Turing, 1950, on the topic of things you could never build a machine to do,” Hajime told him, his usual voice having returned, but with a tone that was more tired, “You do remember what I am, right, Komaeda?”

After biting his lip for a moment, Nagito grinned, and Hajime peered back at him, puzzled.

Laughing quietly, Nagito lifted their hands, squeezed them for a moment, “You do know how many of those things you’ve done, right? That’s clearly outdated information. You’re incredibly kind, and very resourceful, if the program says anything. You're not only beautiful, but absolutely breathtaking, and you’ve approached me and others without invitation quite a few times. That already knocks out the beginning of the list. I could easily go on. The reason we’re talking about this at all is because you’ve done yet another of those things. You’ve made me fall in love with you.”

Hajime’s face reddened, a function Nagito was eternally grateful to his creator for, and he couldn’t find a reply. Nagito gently changed the position of his hands around Hajime’s and brought tan knuckles to his lips, relishing in how Hajime’s face darkened even more, and Nagito wished it were closer to night so that he could see clearer the endearing cerise glow.

“I.. I guess you’re right,” Hajime admitted, mentally marking that down as an argument to disregard, something no longer apt for fueling his existentialism, “But I still don’t… know how I’m supposed to identify love. I know happiness, I know what it is to like something and desire more, but I don’t think those qualify for love.”

“I’ll try to describe the feeling that I believe to be ‘love’ then...” Nagito decided, “I already spoke a bit on it earlier, but I can still elaborate. For example, my desire to be closer to you. You continue to intrigue me, challenge me, and make me feel at peace, all at once. I feel like I can truly relax when I’m around you, I don’t have to worry about keeping up any sort of act, because you want to understand me. You make me incredibly happy, and, sometimes, when you smile, I feel like the world could come crashing down around me again and I wouldn’t even care, because you are there.”

Hajime took all of this in and looked a little overwhelmed, his memory and the simulations that made up his empathy providing him with the equivalent of what Nagito was describing.

“That’s… so much,” he breathed, again looking down at their hands, “I think I understand, though.”

Nagito smiled, something wry and bittersweet about it, “I can’t imagine you feel the same, do you?”

The android thought for a moment before replying, “I don’t know, but I want to return your love.”

“...Huh?” Nagito said, ever eloquent.

“I want to return your feelings,” Hajime repeated, “You know, reciprocation? I… want to love you.”

It seemed it was Nagito’s turn to flare bright red, pale skin betraying clearly his blush as he made a quiet, strangled sound reminiscent of a whine. He ducked his head and raised his shoulders as if trying to hide his face.

Hajime laughed for a moment, slipping one of his hands from Nagito’s to impulsively run it gently through his unruly hair. It felt soft, Hajime noted with a smile.

Nagito lowered his shoulders a couple minutes later, looking up at Hajime through silvery lashes with a light glare that Hajime had learned to interpret as playful, “Hinata, you can’t just say things like that…”

“What, I can’t tell you that I want to love you? Is that it?” Hajime replied with a grin, “Should I add that into my laws? Don’t tell Komaeda Nagito that you want to love him?”

Hearing his name made everything all the more real, and Nagito blinked back a few tears before sitting upright again, Hajime’s hand sliding from his head.

“Hinata.. This means you accept my confession, right?” He asked, not quite meeting his eyes yet, “Would this mean we’re… dating?”

Hajime blinked, mentally flicking through the files for that particular kind of social interaction, deciding not to mention that they’ve technically been going on dates for a good while now, “I think so. Are we boyfriends now?”

“If you would like to be,” Nagito asserted, belatedly trying to push control back over to Hajime.

“I would like to be,” Hajime assured.

A grin crept slowly over Nagito’s face, excited and breathless, hands squeezing the one of Hajime’s that he still held, “Thank you, Hinata…”

Hajime brought his other hand back to Nagito’s, lifting them briefly to his own lips this time, smiling when Nagito made another startled sound, “I should be the one thanking you, Komaeda.”

Nagito shook his head stubbornly, even as his eyes were fixed firmly on Hajime’s lips where they still barely brushed his right hand’s knuckles, “You really shouldn’t… Hinata, we all owe you our lives.”

The android huffed a dry laugh, “And you think I don’t owe you all mine?”

The pale man pondered that for a moment, before nodding slowly, “I think I know what you’re talking about. Granted, you’re much more intelligent than I am, so it’s very possible that I’m completely wrong.”

Hajime rolled his eyes, squeezing Nagito’s hands in quiet reprimand, “Quit it. You’ve gotten better about not saying things like that, but I still wish you could see yourself in the way that I see you, at least.”

Nagito’s brows raised with bemused interest, “Oh? And how is that, Hinata?”

“Warm, clever, witty, charming in a worrisome sort of way,” Hajime hummed, smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, “Not to mention cute.”

“C-cute?” Nagito then stuttered, looking absolutely puzzled and disbelieving, “Hinata, I think you might need Souda to check your eyes.”

Hajime snorted, “I can run my own diagnostics, thanks, and I know they’re doing fine, I checked them just the other day.”

“You should check them again,” his apparently-boyfriend-now responded with a resolute nod, “You most likely have some dust or sand in them.”

Lowering their hands to the table’s top, Hajime leaned across with a slowly blooming grin, face not inches from Nagito’s as he looked him in the eyes, “Oh, do I? Do you see anything?”

Nagito pupils were blown dark and wide as his gaze flickered between Hajime’s eyes, his nervous swallow terribly audible in the silence that had fallen between them. It lasted for a good few seconds, before Nagito breathed, “Ah, well, no, nothing bad…”

“So what _do_ you see, then?” Hajime teased, grinning wide and well aware of what he was doing to Nagito.

The other scowled, though it was more of a pout, face red and eyes reluctant to look away from the android, though he managed to tear them away for a moment. They were soon back, however, and fixed themselves on Hajime’s lips.

Hajime slid his hands from Nagito’s and lifted them to the pale man’s face, marvelling quietly at the warmth under his fingers, lightly tracing the high arches of his cheekbones. He leaned just a little closer, Nagito hesitantly doing the same, looking back into Hajime’s eyes again and murmuring, “Is this… okay?”

“We’re boyfriends, stupid,” Hajime grumbled, and then he kissed him.

Nagito made a small, startled sound, but instantly melted into it nonetheless. It was a little awkward at first, with their mutual lack of practical experience and the table between them that Hajime was practically lying on at this point, but the brunet was quick to figure out what he needed to do.

Hajime tilted Nagito’s head gently to the side, fixing the angle of the kiss so that it was smoother, and Nagito was able to press closer, his hands seeking out Hajime’s chest, fingers curling loosely in his white shirt.

The android smiled at the other’s enthusiasm when he responded to his careful direction and even went so far as to invitingly part his lips. Hajime hesitated for a moment, but still ran his tongue briefly across the seam and then bit gently at Nagito’s lower lip, the hitch in his breath something incredibly satisfying.

He pulled back then, taking in Nagito’s expression to make sure he was doing well. He was breathing rather heavily for barely doing anything, watching Hajime with dazed eyes and licking lightly at his lips.

Hajime could understand, the lingering salt of skin on his own tongue something he wouldn’t mind more of. Absently, he wondered what he tasted like to Nagito.

“We should… do that again,” Nagito mumbled, more to himself than to Hajime, but the other still obliged, though only after moving to Nagito’s side of the table to be closer.

—

The next morning, when Hajime welcomed Nagito to breakfast with a quick kiss to his temple, Kazuichi gave Nagito a stunned look that was only answered with a smug smile.

**Author's Note:**

> I love,,,,,, Hajime Hinata so much,,,,,,,,,,,,


End file.
